Sunday, October 28, 2007

helps? I felt im flirty....

Singapore hits award was held yesterday~
it was totally wonderful..
before my friend and i went there.. we actually try to be as early to prepare ourselves into our best grooming we can be.. we did not know where or even how the indoor stadium looks like until we reached there.. i was thinking whether to bring or not to bring a jacket along... as is located "indoor", i assumed it will be cold... but how cold will be.. who knows?? ^^


i finally decided not to bring any, reaching my friend house only with a bag of necessary items... i wore a skirt, not a mini one of cos.. I'm not suitable in wearing one yet, as i don't look good in it unless I'm thin enough to fit in one of those wonderful ones... a V neck Tshirt for top, adding some decor on my T, it doesn't look as plain as before... instead i look really a gentle gal but still plum of cos, it was kinda not like myself abit... i can be gentle at times, but i am always the hyper active person no matter who i am with...a necklace changes everything... i wore a necklace i love, and to my surprise, the gentle gal i am turns to be someone more high in spirit... without e necklace, i seems to be a gal who is outrageous shy...


i was hyper excited about the event ... so when we reached there, it was about an hour before the event started.... buying drinks in was a great idea for our throat in later part, but it was later known to be prohibited in, told by the F&B sellers... ending, we had to finish our drinks outside before entering... with bloated stomach i have, me and my friend went into the Q as early as we could.. to our surprise.. there wasn't much people in e Q...


We found our a month decided seats, play with the gift given, we just has too much fun before the event starts...the whole event was extreme wonderful... i saw my idol...my fave band, so on and on... then i saw one particular guy, who actually gave me a smile , a smile that was the warmest one i ever get... i am sensitive with smiles, i can feel either is out of one's heart or not... This smile was a miracle, smile that was once given on the Jan 28 of this year... my hearts starts to pump, i felt to cry.. but thinking, wasn't i already in love with someone else? through whole 4 hours i kept my eyes on him most of the times, i realised i am in love with two guys... I'm confused.. what is a crush? what is a love? whats make a crush into love? or a love into a crush? i hate it... i saw that guy singing, but i couldn't have the chance to know him, i confess to another guy, although rejected, i did not feel of giving up...what am i going do? what was i thinking all this while?


is it because someone told me that is totally impossible to confess to actors, singers, it is just a dream??.. i used to have thought of changing this fate, turning it to possibility... till now,this thinking is not reaching dead end yet... in between , i found myself to be in love with another guy, with lots of gals would say, is a rare catch... his secure attract me lots, lots till i wish there was someone like him to be there for me, he doesn't mind at all how gals look... ^^.. - - but.... i am alot confuse now... i wish there is someone to help...

i asking now...



help???

Friday, October 19, 2007

2 things

-_- I'm not feeling good today.. been thinking about e thing i write to a guy i like... he gave me a rejection... but still thought alot about him... everyday...always feel empty... he once said... i was juz a crush on him... will get over soon.... and too.. said that i cannot look at guys only outer vision and movements....( e thing i did... but another point.. he is a great guy.. did i pick e wrong guy ???????????)

I'm hurt..although he stills speaks to me like normal after things happen... i still feel the hurt...picking up every pieces he broke that very day ....he has no one in like yet... I'm been encouraging myself that i still have a chance... he can't get one for some personal reasons he told me...i told my best friend... she asked... '' so you want to wait for him?"... it struck my head... my mind went empty... i don't know what to do? i don't wish that it just happens to be a guy with great looks who looks gentle? I'm just finding someone with great secure and is gentle...is hard to find this guy... i thought i found one... no... i did found one... but is it really just a crush or something else??? AH!!!! I'm confuse... totally... i hate those hard feelings... always.. i just hope that i could find someone to lean over for everything... just hopes this ends... i wrote to him that i knew in e first place that we are not possible.. yes.. i knew it long ago... wrote to him is just hopping that miracles happens...but impossible.. my outer vision is not good... fat and ugly... gave up ???? or not??? I'm confuse.... >(>X<)<





my exams is not what i expected... is not... been away for school for 2 days.. ending up only got back 4 out of 7 subjects.... failed geo(is under combined... with social studies((passed)) ) and over all, failed my combined human. ....failed my POA too.. cant expected too... the rest my best is only chinese.. the one and only A1... i have the feel that he is having a high expectation in me... althought is just a feeling....felt i disappoint him...

hope my overall end of year resluts will pass everything!!! everything... ........ blank... blank.. blank... is all the words i can think.... his name.. his name... is all the things i can think............

Friday, October 5, 2007

I ever believe in

Thre's a thing i ever know
is friendship that comes and goes
we never meet
or even met (before)
we sometimes know each other
only through internet

True friendship never crossed religion
This is what i always believe
As we meet up through
or pass by millions people
and we contiue to learn to forgive

I treasure my friendships
as much as i treasure my family
I believe in my buddies
who started to have friendship
with me

I never feel lonely
nor depressed
And i have to thank god
who give me friends